The Effective Behavior Chart

Behavior can be a touchy subject, many parents like to avoid. Some have trouble taking constructive criticism or they think it reflects on them as a parent. The best choice I ever made for my child was seeking out a behaviorist and following her every direction. I can still hear her words today "If you don't get a handle on this now, you are both going to be in serious trouble in the future". It conjured up images of my child being 14 whining and throwing a tantrum in the middle of a classroom "Very Scary"! I learned through the process that behavior is not just the typical ones we think of like a tantrum, straight up non compliance to rules, or whining. Many behaviors affect learning and produce inattentiveness such as skin chewing, picking, and scratching or playing with paper or objects during school. This includes all socially unacceptable type behaviors such as stemming, head banging, space invading, or nose picking. My child lived on a changeable behavior chart between the ages of  3 and 8 and I still use one today mainly during the summer months for a different purpose such as chores and independent living skills. "G" is so used to them she likes the structure and reward that they offer. They make her feel comfortable and in control of her own life. At one point my child's room was down to a mattress on the floor. I can tell you that persistence pays off and it takes at least 21 days to start changing a behavior. I will and do use one today anytime a behavior is affecting her life and others in a negative way.

Tools- A large white board and Expo marker

 

Choose a symbol that relates to your child that will represent success or try again tomorrow such as a smiley or frowny face.

 

Observe your child at school and at home to determine what behaviors are hindering their meaningful progress both academically and socially. "Hint" This is where you tell the teacher or anyone whom works with your child, "I am not the type of mother whom gets offended by hearing anything negative about my child. I welcome any and all feedback. If I am not aware I cannot change it." My first question was always about specific behaviors. I know what she does well, what I really need to know is where she needed to improve and  a plan to make it happen.

 

Rate the behaviors. On a scale from one to ten how frequent and how damaging are they to the learning and social process.

 

Choose two or three of the child's highest level behaviors and write them on the chart. The behaviors must be clear and explained to the child exactly what they are and why we don't do them on a level the child can understand. More can be added as the child gets used to the new system. As the behavior fades you can remove it and add another. A picture can be added if reading and/or comprehension is an issue.

 

The child gets up and reads the chart daily(set up the expectation).

Do this frequently so that the expectation is always there.  When you see a behavior that is on the chart (if home) take the child over to the board have them read the behavior happening and say "do you want a frowny today?". Frowny means no rewards tonight. Give a warning. If you see it again take the child over to the board "I gave you a warning" put the frowny on the board(in front of the child) and tell them to try again tomorrow. The key is to make the board central. The board now rules your child's and your life. If you are out give the warning and if it persists tell the child when we get home you are getting a frowny.

 

The chart should have expectations(behaviors) on the left. The days of the week at the top and the rewards at the bottom right EX:

 

                                     Mon     Tuesday    Wed   Thurs    Fri    Sat

YES, No hair Pulling    :-)            :-)           :-)       :-)

 

YES, No Skin picking   :-)            :-(           :-(      :-)

 

YES, No getting upset                                           :-)

when mom asks you to

get ready in the morning. :-)                         :-)      :-)

 

 Use your words not your :-)                                   :-)
hands to speak

                                  All smiles for the day = Rewards

                                  One frowny= No rewards and try again

                                                                                            tomorrow

                                   REWARDS

                           T.V.    video games  

Make the reward section larger than the rest and they may have all of them available to them for a full day of smile's.

Make reward time after all the days responsibilities are achieved with smile's. You the parent are the key to the success of the chart. The first week your child will be upset, by giving in you are only hurting them and in the long run making their lives more difficult."HINT"All rewards must be withheld until the end of the day. NO MORE IMMEDIATE REWARDS. If it is listed on the chart it can only be given at reward time when earned. The key to choosing the right rewards is  knowing what your child truly loves. It can be anything games, a favorite toy or stuffed animal, cookies etc. This sets them up for a rule most of us live by "Work first then play" First and then is a lesson usually learned in pre-school.Stay strong they will be testing you to see if you will cave and give in. Remember this a way of life change.

 

Give it 2 to three weeks if you still have non compliance start taking their things away one at a time and put them in a big bag. Tell them one day of all smile's and they can earn one thing out of the bag back.

 

All and I mean ALL rewards must be withheld thru-out the day.

 

Expectations must be clear! If they cant picture/understand the exact behavior you are speaking of it is not clear.

 

Visit the board frequently throughout the day.

 

When child becomes upset ask your child, Who's in control of you?

Answer obviously "you are" Tell them they are in control of their own behavior and we all must be and why. EX: It makes others uncomfortable when you_ or It keeps you from learning when you_

 

Let them know we all have behaviors to work on. EX: Mommy had to stop biting her nails etc..... Let them know how you did it!

For certain behaviors an alternative may be given after the warning. Say things like what could you do instead of _? What would be a better choice? Replace the negative with a positive. It may be necessary to provide a visual story of the expected behavior. Some replacements I have used are gum chewing, stress balls, drawing, tugging on shirt, giving light touch to oneself, reading, and the use of a nail file. Find positive replacements. 

Have some non preferred activities prepared for during the day or earning time. Non preferred activities can be used for behavior replacement also. Non preferred rewards or the ones lower on the Favorite things to do or have list will replace the preferred ones that you no longer use all day long.

This chart is for home use only and it is key to have one enforcer/organizer of the chart with the rest of the family supporting his/or her decisions. This chart should be between the main caretaker and the child. Schools should have their own system in place and a school with a behaviorist on staff is always a plus. The purpose is that if you make the changes in behavior at home they will translate over to school and the rest of daily life.I always say "If they are doing it a home, you know they are doing it at school." 

 

Use common sense make sure your child doesn't have any untreated skin conditions that may be causing them to pick or that the behavioral symptom is not caused by never having any down time or enough sleep. This is not easy and behaviors that have gone on for years are hard to change. It is worth it, more important your child is worth it. Your family will thank you, the world will thank you and eventually your child will understand and thank you! A happy thriving child is the best reward a parent can have.